I came to this realization a couple of years ago. It sort of explains why people go looking for comfort in all the wrong places. I call it the “Personal Jesus Theory,” as in, yes, the Depeche Mode song “Personal Jesus.”

“I will deliver. You know I’m a forgiver.”

Basically, feeling incomplete or insecure is a part of the human condition. This sounds incredibly depressing, but if we think of it from a biological perspective, this really isn’t all that bad. Human life is fluid and dynamic, but the need for survival is constant. Needs being met today may or may not be the needs that need to met tomorrow. This is explained in a blog article I wrote (an excerpt is copied and pasted below).

In a highly volatile natural environment, such as our Earth, contented people get lazy and lazy means game over. Life is going great and then oops, it’s a flood. Did you get swept away, or did you build a raft or move to higher ground? Life is tenuous, and those who feel the need to keep pushing the boundaries of their situation succeed while those contented do not.

Now, back to the Personal Jesus theory. Everyone, in a sense, is looking for their Personal Jesus, their savior who will propel them out of the depths of despair or mediocrity into pure contentedness.

Humans attempt to cope with the inexplicable emptiness by trying to fill it. There are numerous ways to go about this, and few that are healthy: Co-dependency in relationships, overeating, overspending, extreme religion, substance abuse, cult type organizations…the list goes on and on of ways to distract ourselves from our insecurities rather than deal with them.

“Jesus Christ, Superstar, Do you think you’re what they say you are?” My money says the guy on the left is skeptical. PS, according to Andrew Lloyd Webber, Jerusalem gets their coffee cup supply from Office Max. They seem eerily familiar.

The lyrics to the song “Personal Jesus,” originally performed by Depeche Mode, but now has many covers and incantations, reveals the desperate nature of feeling alone and looking for salvation, basically anyway we can find it, even through people who look to take advantage of us.

Your own personal Jesus/ Someone to hear your prayers/ Someone who’s there

Feeling unknown and you’re all alone/ Flesh and bone by the telephone/ Pick up the receiver/ I’ll make you a believer

We are less divorced from our ancestors than we think—we have evolved, but our biological instincts are still here in some respect. You throw in the culture of achievement that is transposed upon us from an early age, that emptiness is emphasized.

The notion of complete contentedness is a brass ring held before us to taunt us into achievement, which we believe will make us happy, but even when we achieve our goals, the happiness is fleeting. We get a job, we’re told to start looking for a better job. We buy a new house and start looking for a new car. We get back from vacation and start planning our next vacation.

Now, here’s my disclaimer: I’m not saying that religion, success, personal achievement, or material possessions are bad. I’m personally a huge fan of all four. But these entities have their appropriate roles in our life, ie the Fight Club conundrum of owning your possessions and actions, not allowing your possessions and actions to own you. Because when that happens, you inevitably develop a physically flawless but ultimately insidious alter-ego who tries to dismantle society’s infrastructure, eagerly bringing in an age of unadulterated anarchy.

I kid. It’s okay to have a sense of humor, even when talking about The Theory of Life. God certainly has a sense of humor. I have 27 years of existence to prove it.

What’s the moral of this fable? Be your own personal Jesus. Don’t go looking for it in other people. We all want to feel a sense of belonging, but what we really need, and can’t articulate, is to feel a sense of belonging with ourselves.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” –e.e. cummings